The Chronicles of Miss Virginia Weasley
by potterprose
Summary: A (very un-posessed) diary that follows Ginny Weasley’s sixth year at Hogwarts. DM/GW fried to golden perfection and served with chips. Ketchup on request.
1. Disclaimer

[DISCLAIMER] – Please Note: The only disclaimer you will get. Enjoy it while it lasts.

I most definitely own nothing related to _Harry Potter_ OR _Angus, Thongs, And Full-Frontal Snogging. _JKR and Rennison are both beautifully talented artists, who have created masterpieces (if you speak Spanish, its "obras maestras") that I have been inspired by. I am making no money off of this, and am definitely not trying to exceed their works with this craptastic fan fiction.

On a lighter note, you can shove your thumbs up your ass if you honestly are thinking of suing me. Because really, man.. that's very unnecessary.

READ ON, MY FRIENDS..


	2. Irish Thighs And Giant White Knickers

[TITLE] –  The Chronicles of Miss Virginia Weasley

[SUMMARY] –  A (very un-posessed) diary that follows Ginny Weasley's sixth year at Hogwarts. DM/GW served fried to golden perfection. Ketchup on request.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE] – Brilliance struck (in the form of boredom). Slightly _Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging-_style diary of Ginny Weasley. Enjoy. And flame please, as I am getting tired of compliments..

..am I really that transparent? Ok, you got me. PLEASE REVIEW. PLEASE COMPLIMENT. Please inform me that my little story is bloody brilliant and that you will die if you can't have more. Oh, and please love me.

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[CHAPTER 1] – IRISH THIGHS AND GIANT WHITE KNICKERS

FRIDAY

2:05 PM 

Sitting in my bedroom, bored out of my mind. Mum is off cooking something, no doubt for Harry's arrival. BOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDBORED. Looked in the mirror just this morning. It is now official - I am a giant tub of lard. Humungous in every way, shape, and form. THANK YOU MUM FOR COOKING THOSE OH-SO-DELICIOUS MEALS. Those meals that also give me thighs as big as Ireland and as wide as.. well, as wide as something very wide. And fat. Exactly. Oh, just shut up.

FRIDAY

2:43 PM

Harry is here. Let us all rejoice and be merry. Honestly, is it normal for Ron to be so excited about his arrival? Boys are seriously weird.

FRIDAY

6:12 PM

Hermione is here too. She will be staying in my room. She's not too bad, but can be anal in ways I never thought possible. Honestly, who would have thought that Crookshanks preferred sleeping with strangers? I'm flattered, really, but I don't sleep with anyone on the first date. (HEHEHE – what? No laugh? I thought it was funny.) Fred and George continue to experiment. I, of course, don't mind helping them when it comes to trying out their new products on Ron. You would think he'd notice. But he doesn't. Dumb brute. Although I must say that the scent of cheese really suits him. We got our Hogwarts letters today. Nothing too exciting. Hopefully Mum will buy me a new robe or two. Honestly, mine are so old.. practically see-through. Maybe that wouldn't be too bad if I were not me. But unfortunately enough, I am. Bloody great. Maybe this year Draco Malfoy will get a free preview of all (and I mean ALL) the Weasley family has to offer, AND make fun of the poor state of our robes. Ginny Weasley - poor, and fat (although I must say, my lips are very supple). 

FRIDAY

10:15 PM

What does it mean when a boy tells you "Sweet dreams."? And how can you be expected to sleep when they say it with their yummy green eyes and delicious voice? AHHHHHH I LOVE HARRY.

FRIDAY 

10:30 PM

Hermione is snoring. I can't move, or Crookshanks will slice me up like a Christmas ham. Oh yeah, and I love Harry Potter.

FRIDAY 

10:35 PM

Ginny Potter. Virginia Potter. Mrs. Virginia Potter. Mr. and Mrs. Harry Potter. Sounds great to me.

FRIDAY

10:40 PM

I wonder if he noticed my soft and supple lips. I sincerely hope so. If not, he is blind because I can assure you they are amazing. AHHHH HARRY. I could die. Sweet dreams, my sexy, SEXY hero. 

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SATURDAY

6:32 AM

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Must my roommate be a bloody early bird? And must her cat have claws like daggers? I thought she said that Crooks _liked _sleeping with strangers. Obviously he doesn't enjoy waking next to them. Is my morning breath really that horrible? I am going back to sleep. 

SATURDAY

7:01 AM

Oh bloody hell. Can my cheeks get any more red? Probably, but let's not test that theory. Walked downstairs towards the kitchen. Harry was there, eating some biscuits. He looked up and he stared. I stared back. I can't help it if I'm attractive. But really, how was I supposed to remember that I was wearing a hand-me-down shirt from Ron's first year and a giant pair of white knickers? I could have died from embarrassment. Instead, I said, "Ugdfhsdglsdfd."

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[AUTHOR'S NOTE] – Considering this is the first chapter, I really can't thank any reviewers. But erm.. if you review.. I'll thank you in the next installment. Please do so. Oh yes, and tell me whether this is worth continuing or not. Slightly short because its a little test chapter. SO REVIEW. Hm. Ok, thanks.


	3. Broom Lips, Screamers, and Snogs

[TITLE] –  The Chronicles of Miss Virginia Weasley

[SUMMARY] –  A (very un-posessed) diary that follows Ginny Weasley's sixth year at Hogwarts. DM/GW served fried to golden perfection. Ketchup on request.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE] –  I'm sorry it took so long, I had this baby ready within a few hours of the last chapter. However, ff.net was weird and I couldn't upload it. Anyway.. here it is. Hope you enjoy it! 

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[CHAPTER 2] –  BROOM LIPS, SCREAMERS, AND SNOGS

SATURDAY

5:45 PM

Had the precious joy of visiting Diagon Alley with the escaped patients of St. Mungo's (more commonly known as my family) today. I've decided that I am no longer in love with Harry. I can't be, as it is quite obvious that he is not in love with me. And unrequited love is not something that Virginia Anne Weasley is about to get mixed up in. 

SATURDAY

5:50 PM  
Yes, its true, Harry kissed the new broom he got today at Diagon Alley. Honestly, boys are so weird.

SATURDAY

5:53 PM

Do you suppose that if a broom were to have lips, they would be better than mine?

SATURDAY

5:55 PM

He also called me "kid". I think I will go _Avada_ myself right now. 

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MONDAY

9:30 AM

School starts today. Back to Hogwarts. Back to Gryffindor. Back to Snape. The joy is pulsating through my veins. NOT. I need to do a Screamer. But, alas, I cannot because we are not permitted to do magic outside of school. Oh the pain! Oh the sorrow! Maybe I can ask Mum..

MONDAY

9:45

I said, "Mum, will you put a silencing spell on my room?"

"What for, Ginny dear?" Dare I tell her? Am I breaking the code of Gryffindor sisterhood by explaining a Screamer to my dear Mother? 

"Well back at Hogwarts we put a silencing spell on our dorm and.."

"VIRGINIA ANNE! If this is about snogging some bloke again.."

"No Mum, no! If you'd _listen_.. so we put a silencing spell on our dorm and jump around and scream."

"Dear, go eat breakfast, and tell the others to come down once you've finished."

Honestly, you would think that someone put a silencing spell on her ears. The Screamer is a proud tradition of the sixth year girls' dormitory at Gryffindor. Top secret. With the exception of my Mum now, though I doubt she'll remember enough to tell anyone. Senile old bat. I really should have never told her about when we all drug Neville Longbottom into the room and locked him up. Really, we were just trying to do something nice for the poor kid. I don't think he's ever been snogged properly in his life. Up until then, of course.

MONDAY

12:00 PM

On the train. Nearly missed it, of course. If we had been early it simply would not have been the Weasley way. Since it is the boys' (and one girl's) seventh year, they require a compartment to themselves. Or so says Ron. And although I miss my friends, I refuse to sit in the same compartment with Alice O'Riley. She's horrible and dumb and she smells. And she flirts with Ron!!! AND HE FLIRTS BACK! Double ew! I'm afraid I have to go now, as the sudden urge to vomit has come up. Hahaa.. come up. Get it?

MONDAY

1:03 PM

OH WOW. OH WOW OH WOW OH WOW. I don't know what to do! At this moment, I am sitting across from _Draco Bloody Malfoy_. DRACO MALFOY. Oh dear Lord. He hasn't said a word yet, and I think he's asleep, but.. AHHHH. It's different when he's standing across from you and making fun of your robes. But, oh my, that boy is mighty handsome. I like him this way. Quiet. Asleep. All he has to do is sit there and look sexy. Note to self: He is succeeding.

MONDAY

2:10 PM

So I suppose I will go die now. 

MONDAY

2:15 PM

Who does Neville know in Slytherin? How did Draco Malfoy find out about that? And why must he make fun of me for it?

MONDAY

2:18 PM

In a way, this isn't so bad. "So Weasley, I heard you gave Neville a good snog the last night of school."

I said, "Er.. Ughdasd.."

"You've earned quite the reputation." BLOODY HELL THIS CANNOT BE GOOD. Reputations and "earning reputations" are never a good thing.

"..uhads.."

"Neville told all us Slytherin blokes that you were the best. Quite obvious, of course. We all know what they say about redheads." Hmm.. it must be because of my supple lips.

"How do you know about that? And what do they say about redheads?"

"Neville told us. Well, we heard rumors and then got the rest out of him later."

"What about the redhead thing? What do they say?"

"Fiesty." And his lovely eyes closed and his lovely head leaned against the side of the compartment, and he was asleep again (in a very lovely way). First I must find out who "they" are. Then tell all my friends (and non-friends) that Neville said I was the best. HAHAHAHA. Eat that, Alice!

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TUESDAY

6:05 AM

I had forgotten how much I missed all of my friends and roommates. Well, not Alice so much. Not Alice at all. Moving on. First day of classes, I am shaking with excitement! NOT. I decided to break the news that I was the best kisser out of my mates gently. 

I said, "Oi, Courtney! Guess what! Draco Malfoy said that Neville said that I was the best out of us all!" I illustrated my point by sticking out my tongue and doing a small victory dance, comprised mostly of shaking and wiggling. Honestly, friends can be so dense. She said, "What are you talking about?"

"He said I was the best snogger!"

"But you've never snogged him, how would he know?" Honestly, you would think her brain was made of cheese.

TUESDAY

transfiguration

Once again, WOW. I have officially cancelled my membership to the Harry Potter Fan Club, and have transferred myself into the Draco Malfoy Fan Club. Figuratively speaking, of course. So I was walking down the hall towards breakfast with Courtney, Kat, and (much to my chagrin) Alice. I went to scratch my ear, and discovered that I had lost an earring. My favorite pair, too. So I told the girls to go on ahead without me so that I could look for it on the ground. I found it eventually, and as I stood up to walk towards the Great Hall, I knocked my head into.. you guessed it, Draco Malfoy's beautiful head. Despite the sheer embarrassment of the situation, it was heavenly bliss when he fell to the ground, and took me with him. Forget Harry Bloody Potter, you can't look at anyone the same once you been on top of them. 

TUESDAY

in the library 

I wonder if he noticed my full lips?

TUESDAY

in the library

OH LORD, I hope he didn't notice my giant thighs! I could just die..

TUESDAY

8:45 PM

I asked Court if she would go out into the corridor with me and tell me if my thighs felt fat if I was on top of her. So I made her lie down in the exact manner that Draco was, and I got on top of her in the exact way I was on Draco. I made sure to make the same face I was making at the time. Sort of surprised, a little pink and embarrassed. She said no, they felt nice and soft and that my lips looked good from that view. Let's just hope Draco thought they felt soft and not FAT. 

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WEDNESDAY

6:05 AM

Very nice dream consisting of Draco, myself, and a very good snog.

WEDNESDAY

history of magic

OH SWEET BABY JESUS. You'll never believe what just happened to me. But for now, I must take notes. Honestly, can't Binns just DIE?

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[AUTHOR'S NOTE AND THANKS] 

**fire spirit** – Thank you very much, and I think I will.. **Pamela –** Yay! I'm glad that you appreciate the humor. And yes, Draco is very *sigh*. I fully agree.. **skyblusilver –** Good, I'm glad that I could kill two birds with one stone. I LOVE ATFFS as well as HP so it seemed to be a good thing to write. Thanks for the review.. **Julie101 –** Your review made me laugh. I can see how this would seem weird to you if you have not yet read _Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging _(which you should because its very good and very funny!). Anyway, I know that Ginny's not fat, but she's a teenager and this is from her point of view, so she's a little insecure about some things. Anyway.. **dama-de-tinieblas –** Glad that you like it. I'll try to work out the kinks and such. Thanks for the review!

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!111** (Do the 1's add to the importance and urgency? I say yes.)


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